Choices & decisions

I am always learning from sessions with my clients – and I hope I always do!  Today we were discussing how not only do we get to make our own choices, but others in our lives get to make their own choices as well.  And we may not always agree with the choice they make.  No matter – it is still their choice to make.

Isn’t it amazing how this issue comes up so often on opposite ends of life – your parents and your kids, and these days it often comes up at both ends at once!

And even though I really do know it in my head, I need to repeat it continually to my heart – it is NOT my choice to make (in my case it is a young adult that I really must stop calling my ‘kid’).  It does help me through things when I remember that my son is capable, creative, resourceful, and whole and that his decisions are just that – HIS decisions.  And isn’t it also amazing how just holding a person capable, creative, resourceful, and whole actually seems to help him be  that.  My kid (I know, I know – my young adult) has a really good heart and a really good head on his shoulders – I can’t think of a better combination to have.

Your mother, father, son, or daughter may not always make the choice you would have made.  But it may help you to remember that it is still their choice to make.  You can weigh in (if asked), but in the end, it is their decision.

Obviously I am not talking about a 3-year-old making the decision on where to go to pre-school, or a parent with dementia deciding their own living arrangements.  But barring any other issues, other people get to make their own decisions.  It doesn’t matter if you agree with them or not – it’s not your call.

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